i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
