fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize