I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize