Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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