We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
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