Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
