i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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