she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
