i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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