i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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