Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
