Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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