And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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