I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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