That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
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