Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
