Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
