We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
