Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize