so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize