R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
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