I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I am available for nakedness
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
