I'm jealous of your bromance
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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