My nipple is on Facebook.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
