Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize