I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
she was so not down for the gang bang
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
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