I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
