3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
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