Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
