if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
