My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Do vagina's smell?
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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