You really coming over, don't trick.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
