Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
You made out with two different species that night
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
