I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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