i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Randomize
