"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
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