Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
