Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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