Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
