can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
We're using joints as your birthday candles
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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