maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize