just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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