I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
It's shark week go big or go home
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Randomize