the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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