I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Randomize
