I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I feel like death gave me a hand job
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I need to calm my uterus...
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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