there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
