In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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