you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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