I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
thus making me awesome and them whores
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
