this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Randomize
