you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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