What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
