I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Betty ford says i'm here all night
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
