and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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