miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
