They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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