I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I think my moral compass just broke
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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