I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I stole a fireplace last night.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize