i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
