Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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