i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
what is it with giant penises always finding me
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
