so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
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