dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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