Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
