I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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