im drinking this country out of the recession.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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