so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
