Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
