By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
