Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
