Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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