I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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