I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
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